Yahoo! Holly Molly!!! OMG!!!! Rarely do I meet a female leader that inspires me so much I want to run home and write about.
Founder of One Taste
I want to tell you about Nicole Daedone, the owner, founder, and teacher of One Taste in San Francisco. She is gutsy, bold, (wait till I tell you what One Taste does), BEAUTIFUL, sexy, alive, smart, and committed. If she was a movie and I were a movie critic, my review of her would be that little picture where the guy is clapping and jumping out of his seat!!!
First about One Taste. It is an urban center in San Francisco (and New York) where people can practice orgasmic meditation and mindful sexuality! Woooooohooooo!!! (Back to me. Can you refocus?) They have a program training practitioners to become “Slow Sex Coaches”. I have heard of them about 5 years ago, and have always admired what they stood for. And now I got invited to help them train their coaches on life coaching skills.
Four weeks ago, I met Nicole (the owner) and Justine (the executive director) for the first time, for an interview (to make sure that I check out). After the initial hello and how are you, they asked me to tell them about myself. I took a deep breath, and intuitively told them something pertinent about myself. In less than five minutes, Nicole interrupted me and said to Justine “if it’s alright with everyone, I would like to cut in here and let you know what I think. She (referring to me) feels right. My intuition tells me she is the right one. I have one concern. (directing her question to me) Can you take ownership of the room?” …and off we went. A 45 min. meeting was done in 20min. All pertinent information was covered and understood. We even had time to share our personal journey on how we became the women that we are today.
I am not bragging about Nicole because she selected me. I LOVED how she led. She was grounded, unapologetic, highly intuitive, and completely trusting of herself. She LED FROM HERSELF, instead of leading from being polite, following protocol, being nice, or “crossing all T’s” to avoid making mistakes. She was self-authorized, yet she had room to rely on her friend/executive director, Justine. She was absolutely loving yet rigorous, clear, and not gushy. It was so refreshing to be in her presence.
When I left, I walked taller, had more bounce in my steps, and breathed deeper. How she was being inspired me to take up more space and to to deepen the trust in myself. I believe that is an impact of a great leader. They leave us who came into their contact feeling taller and more grounded in our own sense of self. I can also see from the other side, if I were not right for the job, by her being so clear with herself, I would have seen clearly where I didn’t fit and what I stood for. She served as a mirror for me to see myself, definitively.
In my work with female executives, there are lots of time spent helping them defining who they are, learning to say yes and no with clear and healthy boundary, and replenishing their tank because they over worked themselves (trying to earn their worth). Nicole gives us an image of what a female leader look like when she has done her personal work. Check out this video of her talking about One Taste
Here’s to all of us female leaders, having clear boundary, trusting in ourselves, and operating from a balance of our feminine and masculine strengths (which is our beauty, smart, intuition, execution, and deep love).
Maybe we can make posters out of each of the cartoons and frame them like the ones that they sell at www.despair.com. I am not advertising for them. I just love their honesty.
What Sin Do You Committ As a Boss?
Here are what I see as the complexities in helping bosses realize that they are falling short.
1. As human being one of our top fears is FAILURE, especially failing in public. So every boss wonders about their success as a leader, but are afraid to find out. Because finding out would mean one might have to admit to failing at some level.
Their ego blocks them from the pain of the truth, so they don’t ask, don’t admit it, and can’t ask for help. The truth might be too detrimental to bear.
What makes the dynamic even more complicated is that as human beings, we are unaware that our ego is doing this. This is a human condition. We don’t know that we are afraid, and that our ego is trying to protect us. Most of the time, we are busy dealing with life and having reaction, without being consciously aware of the reason underneath.
2. Most people around them are afraid to be honest. First of all people are afraid of conflict. That is our natural instinct. And to tell someone they are not doing a good job, that is one of the top 5 ways to create conflict. There are so many risks in telling the truth, especially to a bad boss who doesn’t want to hear it, is like committing career suicidal.
3. Most people don’t know how to have these hard conversations, in a way that is healthy. So they usually avoid, sugar coat, gossip (not address it directly), tell jokes, be sarcastic, resign, or at worst case blow up the place.
As you can see it takes lots of COURAGE to change a bad boss, both for the boss and for the people around them. For someone to hear that they are not cutting it as a boss, it is DETRIMENTAL to their ego. So we need to support them:
1. We must remember that underneath all of the bad behaviors is an individual who is wanting to contribute. They are AFRAID: afraid of the truth, afraid of not cutting it, afraid to be fired, afraid that they don’t know how, afraid, afraid, afraid. So it is our job (the brave feedback deliverers) must muster up all the compassion that we have inside us, and give that to them. If you come from LOVE, you can say anything and they can hear it. If you come from judgment and and disapproval, you don’t have to open your mouth and they will shut down.
2. We need to beef up on our ability to CHAMPION them. After you deliver their short coming, you have to be able to right them back up emotionally. It’s not codling, nor is it a brief pat on the back “there, there, you are ok.” It’s a sincere place that you know inside what they are capable of. So yes, dear feedback deliverers, you must be able to see a glimpse of their possibility as a leader, beyond the icky behaviors. AND you must TELL them, remind them, make sure that they hear you in the midst of their break down.
Now for the other side: Bosses, when someone muster up the courage to tell you the truth either by their resignation or an elusive comment on some 360 feedback form, go and THANK them. Make sure they are safe to tell you this. Of course I realize that most bad bosses probably wont be reading my blog. But anyway, let me just speak to those of you who do read my blog. Anytime someone gives you a comment or feedback, please remember that this is very scary for them. Please reassure them that you appreciate them for doing this, or for giving you this gift. Do not “Yea, BUT” Do not say anything with a “but” in it! I mean it.
So the skills that are important in receiving are:
1. Appreciation and affirmation that they are safe in doing this.
2. When you can’t hear anymore, you may say “Thank you, but this is tough for me to hear. I need to go and ponder this.” Another word “ENOUGH, I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE” You get to be gentle with yourself, have clear boundary so that you can survive the feedback.
And last but not least, please go talk to your coach about this. It may be self serving here. But your coach will help you process the information much gentler and easier than what your critical mind will do to you. So save yourself, call your coach.
As a leader and trainer for The Coaches Training Institute, I get the pleasure and honor to teach coaching training classes all over the world (Dubai, Canada, Israel, Europe, US, Asia). I love them all. And I learn so much about leadership, cultural differences and similarities, and relationships being with these beautiful people.
snowy street outside of Korea Leadership Center
Korea this time, is cold and snowy. But I like it. I don’t have to drive or live in it, so it is all good. I did slip and fall right in front of the lobby when I checked in. But thanks to yoga, I bounced up like a kid, without any pain or bruises.
I am surprised that they say that the snow is unusual for them. I thought it snows like crazy in Seoul. After all a few of the things they are known for are their “high quality” thermal underwear and kimchee ladden food to keep their internal system warm. But I guess I was wrong.
I love teaching in Korea, because the people are very dedicated. There is a different quality of dedication and application that the students possess. I wonder if it comes from their inherent values of “working hard, and be a good student.”
Learning Korean, numbers and little commands, I hope to quadruple my vocabulary by the end of my trip
I also love it because I naturally gravitate to learning Korean. I love putting words together and teaching myself new phrases. I said to my Korean co-leader yesterday in front of the room, “Chiong Mal kyopte” (you are so cute). It was so endearing and surprising to them to hear me “mispeak” their language so freely. It is my way of honoring them. And they love it.
I guess this is leadership lesson number one: your people will practice and learn new things with abandonment, if you celebrate and champion them as they blunder forward! (remembers, a smile and hand clapping will go much further than a frown and a head shake side way)
Another thing that I get from teaching in Asia, very consistently, is that the participants always come up to me (especially the women) and say “WE have been talking about you, and we LOVE that you are an Asian woman teaching us this foreign stuff. You give us a model of how we can be like. It is so refreshing to be taught by an Asian Female teacher. You are like us. And it’s about time for us Asian women or (just “us Asians if it is a man speaking to me) to step up and lead like you. You have a nice balance of East and West in you.”
Honestly, my reaction is about 20% ego satisfaction, and 80% humility and inspiration. I really get that I represent something important here especially for the female leaders. My sense of freedom, assuredness and ease give them a new model of what a teacher/a woman/a leader can be. It’s like I am reaching for their hands and say “COME ON, let yourself SHINE, let go (of your fears, limitations, or old trainings), and Let’s get to work.”
Perhaps the leadership lesson here is to let ourselves BE a MODEL for people. It feels a bit egotistical or arrogance to say. But like Gandhi said “Be the model of change that you want to see in the world.” I think we are modeling for our world in everything that we do. If we own that responsibility fully, we can be more of service than getting in our own ways with our “false humility, cumbersome shyness, or high maintenance denial of what is true.”
The question to ponder is “What are you modeling everyday?” or even more specific “what do you want to model? and what are you actually modeling?”
Shabu Shabu lunch with KLC Founder, Susan Gimm (to my left), Hannah my life line interpreter
Anyun-na Sayoooooh!!! (A Korean Greeting whether you are coming or going) (and you have to sing the words not just pronounce it)
A long time ago (in the early 1980s), there was this young Australian woman named Rani Muirwig. She discovered a simple little fishing town called Pemuteran, in Bali Indonesia, where there were spectacular coral reefs for snorkeling and diving. Ronnie loved to scuba dive. So, she made this town her new favorite get away place.
In the 1990’s the Indonesian government declared that bombing was the most efficient way to fish. So the fishermen were encouraged to put explosion into the ocean to kill thousands of fish at a time, despite the destructive impact on the coral reefs. Furthermore, the (very poor) fishermen discovered that aquarium fish were fetching a high price on the market. And the best way to catch them was to put cyanide poison into the coral reef to stun the fish so that they can bag them easily.
Evidence of coral reef destruction at a different beach/town that does not have Ronnie angel protection
When Rani came back to her playground some years later, she discovered that most of her reef were either dead or broken into bits and pieces washed onto the shore. The water was dark and dingy and her beautiful colorful fish were all gone. Rani was devastated.
She didn’t know what to do or whom to turn to. Because this was not seen as a problem to anyone there. She tried to complain, but to whom? The fishermen were just trying to feed their family. Pemuteran was a very harsh place, very little rain, no rice growing field, very little tourist, and no factory. She spent many days walking up and down her favorite beach, sucking hard on her cigarettes, trying to think of ways to stop this madness.
Pemuteran: Harsh and dry
Luckily by 1997, because the reef was destroyed, along with global warming, the fishing became much more scarce and the local government had to do something to address their livelihood problem. At the same time, by some divine intervention (the Balinese would say) Rani met Professor Wolf Hibertz on one of her walks on the beach. This wiry gray hair man, was busy setting up some strange new contraption on her beach. As the two got to know each other, she learned that he was working on a BioRock project, where he and his team go around the world to try to revitalize and safe the coral reefs.
Coral Process
The process was very simple. They attached various live corals to a metal framework (this served as the anode), then ran 12 volt electricity to it (via solar power) and attached a cathode nearby, somehow the current flow between the cathode and anode stimulated growth in the coral, five times faster than normal speed.
Excitedly, Rani said “That’s great!!! can you fix all the reef here? How many more of these things can you put in? Problem solved, right?” “Not so fast” he said. “First of all, to revive this coast right here we would require many structures, and that needs money. Secondly if they continue to bomb the reef as we build them up, it would defeat our purpose. We must get the locals involved and change their thinking and ways of fishing. And we can’t change that unless we help them feed their families.”
Thousand of species of fish have come back to Pemuteran
Long story short, Rani got involved! She spent the last ten years taking on this project. She became the protector and driving force behind the technology. Today, the reefs in Pemuteran are beautiful and full of fish. I saw them with my own eyes. The gentle waves that lap onto the beach are not cluttered with bits of crumbled corals, unlike other beaches in Bali, where there is no coral reef protection enforcement. The scientists are long gone. Rani is left with a small handful of locals to maintain and care for the project. Tourism is alive and well in Pemuteran, because people want to see the project and the reefs, therefore the town of Pemuteran has a source of income. So the fish are happy, the people are happy, and Rani is happy.
See the metal structure underneath the healthy growing corals?
The reason why I wrote about Rani, is because of the leadership story underneath the coral reef story. As I listened to her recounting her involvement, looked a the lines on her face, and felt the passion in her words (ten plus years into this project and she was still passionate), I was moved and inspired by her. She is a simple woman, just another global citizen like anyone of us. She didn’t have any grand plan to do good or make a difference. She just loved looking at those pretty fish around the corals. Yet she made a huge difference because she cared and because she got involved. And she is humble about it, doing everything that is needed to keep the project alive and to revitalize Pemuteran. She is not thumping her chest to say “Look at me, Look at me…” She is truly an example of a female leader.
Here’s to you Rani. Thank you for bringing the fish back to Pemuteran.
ps. If you would like to know more details, this 7min. link explains what happened http://tinyurl.com/baliuntamed-pemuteran-MaiVu
A new specie of fish just invaded the reef
And if you would like to participate in saving the coral reefs, you can adopt a baby coral. It’s COOL! and makes a meaningful gift for someone. The gift that keeps on giving.
WE BECAME UNTAMED.Just like every group that gets together for a purpose, there is a cycle that it must go through: Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing.Six days ago when we first met, we were enthusiastic, innocent, and congenial.The idea of a trip to see the untamed parts of Bali was shiny and romantic.We were on our honeymoon with each other.Well after six days of heat, squeezing 7 American bodies into a medium size SUV, compromising different levels of personal needs, varied definitions of what “untamed” mean therefore expectations are met and not met, we all became a bit untamed ourselves.I have no doubt that we will come together as a group and finish the trip out splendidly.It’s just a little fun to watch at the moment.
Interesting Facts about Bali and Balinese that I learned:
-Bali has a cast system that has three levels.Unlike India, they can cross marry easily.But wealth and privileges still belong to the highest level.
-Either the youngest or oldest son of a Balinese family must stay home to take care of the parents.
-When a daughter gets married, she no longer gets the inheritance of her own family.She becomes part of her husband’s family.Her husband gets to have his inheritance.(She is s.o.l. as we would say.)
The oldest daughter or daughter in law gets to serve the meal
-Traditional Balinese meals are served to the elders and men of the family first, after that the women get to eat, then the children.
-In general, it appears that as much as one half to three quarter of the land property is dedicated space for the family temple, and the left over space is their living quarter.
-They pray and do devotion at least twice a day, the average is five times a day.
-Temple space is always divided into three sections: the beginning (birth), middle (life), end (death).So in a town there are at least 3 main temples: Beginning, Middle, End.In a home, the temple area is divided that way too.
-For Balinese people harmony, spirituality, and community are some of their highest values.
Daily offering morning and evening
Flowers for the Spirits, Rice for the ants
-At the core, Balinese believe in Animalism first, then Hinduism or other religions on top of that.So we see little food offering left out everywhere, to honor the trees, the spirits, ancestors, even for the little ants to partake in the day’s eateries.
-Beautiful sarongs are always worn to the temple to show respect to the gods. (The sarongs are HOT to wear. Cause they block the wind from cooling your legs down. Give me shorts any day)
-Many people still wear everyday sarongs for most of their daily activities.
-Balinese live in a community based society.Most decisions are decided and carried out from community meetings that are held at local banjars (town hall meeting space).
-When you meet a Balinese person, they always ask “where are you going?” and “where did you come from” so that they can connect with you.They are not being nosy or rude (or planning to attack you if they know where you will be).
- Balinese people still go down to the river and do their washing and bathing. I have been in that river, and it’s refreshing.
Last but not least (for now), I am rereading the “Love” part of “Eat, Pray, Love.”It’s fun to experience Bali then check it against what Elizabeth Gilbert wrote so I can understand more of what just happened.To me the book is pretty accurate.Oh, and Julia Roberts is in Bali right now finishing up filming for “Eat, Pray, Love” Lots of hoo-ha’s and gossips about that. Can’t wait to see the movie.
Agung Rai, a self appointed Balinese historian and the Founder of ARMA, wanted to give us a tour of HIS Bali at the golden hour of 6am, when the sun rises. Gratefully and excitedly we dragged ourselves out of bed at 5:30am to be ready for Agung Rai.
Agung Rai and me walking the rice field, admiring the dew and the golden grains
Agung Rai turns out to be the most passionate man about Bali that I know up to this point in my life. To witness how Agung Rai looked at the children going to school, delighted in the glistening dew on the rice field, greeted the hard working farmers, and cherished every chickens, roosters, and stray dogs one would think Bali IS heaven on earth.
Here is why I wanted to tell you about Agung Rai. He is a special kind of leader who succeed because he believed. His own passion, willingness to see beauty in the midst of chaos and impossibilities, and trust his inspiration are what made him so compelling and easy to follow. Agung Rai was borned into a poor farming family, nothing special, no hand-me-down privileges. Yet through hard work, determination, and inspiration, he built this amaizing site called ARMA Resort and Museum, accumulated countless businesses and enterprises, and has been involved in many causes to preserve Bali. We got to stay there four nights. And it was wonderful with historical charm and elegance. He lives with his father, being the youngest son, in his family’s tradition, it is his duty to stay home to take care of the parents. He loves his country, his people and his culture. He dedicates his life to protect it so that he can pass it on to future generations. Being such a visionary, he is providing land to build the future home of the Bali Institute of Leadership. Because he believes in the Institute’s mission of combining East and West leadership philosophy and preserving the wisdom of indigenous culture like Bali.
I have always believed that hard work alone doesn’t bring lasting success. In fact if I have to put a number to it, I would say 60% inspiration and belief and 40% hard work will get us there faster and more fun than if we flip that and make hard work 60%. Agung Rai gives me hope that I am right. (and gosh darn it, it always feels good to be right.)
“OH MAN!” This was the most untamed event of the trip so far for me. 77-year young internationally-renown Balinese healer, Prince Cokorda Rai was amazing! (yup, another Prince. This one was destined to be a healer. Apparently not everyone gets to be a healer. They had to be chosen.) He lives modestly and has every essence of an indigenous no-nonsense healer exuding years of wisdom and compassion. The sessions are very short and tend to begin with “So what can I do for you?” We got to name our ailment or discomfort, then sat at his feet, and let his fingers do the walking on our face, neck, and head. From that quick tapping, knocking, pushing, poking of our head, neck, and face he could tell right away, what was out of balance, and at odd in our bodies both in this and previous lifetimes. It was FUN!!!
After he ran his 10 digits over my head, he said “All your organs are well. Nothing is wrong with you. You have stress previously, and you carried some sadness from previous lifetimes.” And I started balling. Didn’t really know why I was crying. I just looked at his face, the way he spoke to me, I felt so seen and loved. And what ever it was that was plaguing me just melted into tears. I can still feel the resonance of that exchange days later as I write this post.
Bali Healer Working on Resetting the Body
Each one of us had our own special treatment. Keith got his hip fixed and felt 20 years younger. Lauren had a stroke 14 years ago, which left her face twisted and her body unstable. He said he could fix it, if she gives him a month. Others got toxic thoughts removed out of their head, and special leafy remedy to balance her gall bladder and blood (which left her elated with joy and laughter).
I think I am going to cancel my expensive health insurance plan when I get back in the States. Here is my plan: dental work in Thailand, cancer/major blood treatment in China, and little aches and pain out of balance illnesses in Bali. Care to go with me???
Leadership Discussion with Prince Cokorda Krisna Dalem Agung of the Peliatan Royal Family
The highlight of today was our visit with one of the province’s young prince. He spent a luxurious 3 hours with us, hanging out, answering questions, and having lunch with us. It was very easy, simple, humble, and special for all of us. Of course I had to ask him MY set of questions:
Me: “What’s it like to be a modern day prince?”
Prince: “”Well it’s hard to be a modern day prince. Because I have to balance being a prince and making money. Money is king in the modern day. So I do have to work.”
Me: “What do you do? and what is your main job?”
P: “My job is to MANAGE. I manage my businesses, my people, my projects, my household, etc… It is our duty to create jobs for the people. I am not allowed to do manual labor work. But I am expected to create jobs.”
Me: “So how do you manage people’s corruption, and wanting special favors from the prince, and how do you manage the distribution of wealth?
P: “I don’t come across people wanting special favors from me.(Of course I don’t believe that). And here in Bali, we have this guideline for distribution of wealth: 30, 30, 30, 10. 30% for the workers; 30% for the celebrations/temples ceremonies, 30% for the community, and 10% for me and my family. Keeping 10% is enough. And if I focus on creating large projects, 10% of a lot is plenty for us. (I do believe this and am in awe and hopeful for the people of his province).
We had a few more very cool exchange after that. Here’s my take away: The prince is young and entrepreneurial. He, like all of us, are pondering about his rightful place and contribution in this lifetime. Although he does have access to privilege he also has more responsibilities to think about. One of the thing that he kept saying (that I didn’t leap in to bust him on it (yet)) was “I really want to explore this and that, but don’t have enough time to get involved with it.” Doesn’t he sound like a typcial CEO? or manager? or a female leader? oh wait, how about a male leader? or any human being? So, note to the Prince and to ALL, we never have enough time. WE just do what feels good and right. AND stop saying “I don’t have enough time.” It’s not useful.
Before I leave this post, I just have to go back to the 30:30:30:10 rule, and ponder what that might be like if corporate America consider this model of doing business: 30% goes to the workers, 30% goes to reinvesting into the company, 30% goes to building our community, 10% goes to investors?
NOTE: This post is laid out backward. You will see the most current post first… Also, I’ll be reporting on my adventure through the lens of leadership learning along with some typical tourist discovery. Onward…DAY 2: Went to see our first BIG temple today. Bali has over 10,000 temples. So many that the Balinese government doesn’t even try to count them all. They are tucked in everywhere. It is proper to wear a sarong and a sleeved shirt to the temple. I had an interesting thing happened at the temple today. On our way there, we had to buy sarong for those of us who didn’t have one. And even with a skirt on, a woman is expected to wear a more traditional sarong over the skirt. I didn’t mind, cause it was a great excuse to buy stuff. As I tied my sarong over my shorts, Issac said “Mai, could you make your sarong longer. You still look too sexy.” I said “yes of course” thinking that the monks at the temple would disapproved, so I better follow his instructions. Well when we got to the temple, it was completely empty. NO ONE was there. So why does it matter if I look sexy or not. I pondered over that exchange all day…. Isn’t it interesting that it is so ingrained in his psyche and he is so committed to the tradition and beliefs that he honors the code even though no one was there to enforce it? I got to really see how my mind works. I would do the sarong thing only because I didn’t want to get some negative external feedback. But I wouldn’t do it if it was up to me to monitor myself. I got to thinking “where else do i do that in my life?” and “what is the impact of that self proclaimed freedom?” I am truly intrigued by these two questions. On one hand I love my ability to break out of rules and have so much self possessed freedom. But on the other hand, I wonder what I am missing by not honoring the code of my community? Everywhere we go in Bali, there are these gathering places called “Banjar.” They are like the community halls in small town America, except that they are open air. They have community meetings regularly, where each family sends at least one person to have their say. Here they decide on all community matters, from how to manage water for all the rice fields, to funeral arrangements and festival activities. Everyone participates and everyone takes the role that they are best at. Tradition and culture are honored. So my pondering applies here. This society works because there is an inherent value that they honor. The value that has them self governed to behave properly even though no one is watching. And that is what makes this indigenous culture still function today even though it is constantly being edged away by progress and new sets of values (like freedom and individualism, etc…) But in the West, we struggle with our set of modern values, which tends to honor individuality and self preservation over community value and self regulation. I woke up with one more layer of pondering on this subject. i was thinking about this from the difference between Vienamese and Balinese cultural stand point. I am going to generalize in a big way. Vietnamese people are very resourceful and rebellious. (That was how we survived 4000 years of Chinese domination, then French colonization, and ultimately won the Vietnam War against the world dominant super power.) We will break or find ways around every rule handed down to us. And Vietnamese community meetings tend to end up with lots of arguing individual points and generally going nowhere. This is part of our strength and our downfall. Our resourcefulness and rebelliousness will allow us to survive and triumph over most situation. But our resistance to cooperate and unite for the good of the whole, slow down our progress. I am intrigue to look deeper into how Balinese think and function with each other. DAY 1: We had a flawless flight from SFO to Taipei, and from Taipei to Denpasar, Bali. The 18 hour flight afforded me much time to catch up on the Hollywood blockbuster movies that came and gone. Already, I encountered many leadership lessons from the movies that I watched. The movie that stood out the most was “Wardlords” a film set in the 1860s, during the Taiping Rebellion in the late Qing Dynasty in China. The story, based on an unresolved crime in 1870, tells of three sworn brothers (played by Jet Li, Andy Lau and Takeshi Kaneshiro) who are forced to turn against one another due to the harsh realities of war and political intrigue. If you liked the older movies Hidden Dragon Crouching Tiger and Hero, you are going to love Warlords. The movie displayed the many forms of leadership (both good and bad) and the decisions and consequences that the leaders had to make in order to achieve their vision. Some leader had immediate and short sighted visions like “taking care of my clan, therefore I lead a team to do what it takes to feed everyone.” While other leaders went for a much grander and global purpose like “to change a culture mindset and behavior” or to unite a kingdom. The trickery, betrayals, and abandonment that were played out, all in the name of leadership was awesome to watch. I love a good Chinese, Kung Fu fighting, twisted love triangle, leadership movie! We arrived in Bali at 5pm local time, just in time to join the group for diner. Issac (our untamed leader) briefed us on our tour, and I almost lept out of my skin in glee. Here is what my tired brain remember: - We’ll be going to open market at 6am to watch the market open at sunrise over the rice field - Then we’ll go to one of the oldest temple on the island to meditate - and for lunch we’ll be having a private meeting with the Royal Family including C K D Agung, one of the young entrepreneurial Princes who is involved with the Bali Institute. - as if that is not enough, we’ll be at some beach where you can see the sunrise and the sunset at the same location! As Issac briefed us he kept stressing three points about INDIGENOUS WISDOM: 1. Part of indigenous wisdom that passed down to him and everyone on the island is this knowing that no matter where one goes, or how far out one travels, one will always be safe and fed. (Imagine what that would be like if we ALL assume that life and people are SAFE and that we can always knock on someone’s door to feed and care for us, when we need help) 2. LIFE and wonderful things will ALWAYS come to us if we let ourselves see with our heart. 3. As we look for the “UNTAMED” in Bali, we will ultimately run into the “untamed” parts inside all of us. OK bed time. I am exhausted. And have to be up at 5:30am to be ready to go at 6am. Don’t want to miss a moment of this adventure. The Beginning: At midnight 11/7 I will be heading to Bali for 14 days. I am so excited. This is my first time in Bali. I will be part of a 6 person tour group, hosted by the untamed founder of the Bali Leadership Institute Marcia Jaffe and her Director “Issac”. This is no ordinary tour. They have been so busy preparing for special experiences, unusual visits to behind-the-scenes places, and meetings with some of the most fascinating Balinese on the island. Did I say I am so excited? Check out my itinerary http://tinyurl.com/MaiBali A few words about Marcia and “Issac”. She is a lovely woman who lives in Marin, the Bay Area (Northern California for those who are unfamiliar). She has been working on a dream for the last 6 years to create sacred centers around the world that will host important conversations about leadership. She chose Bali to be the first center. “Issac” (pronounced E-ssac) is this amazing young man from Sumatra who has “leader” written all over him. He is her hands and feet in Bali. She dreams it and he executes it. Together they have gotten enough attention for this dream that they have built a non-profit business structure, have held several significant events and workshops, have raised enough money to buy a piece of land, and are now beginning the process of construction. They are putting on this first tour to offer a deeper exposure to the Balinese Culture to fellow dreamers like me, who wants to be part of this dream. So I had to come! I will be posting regularly the adventure as the two weeks unfold and share with you what I am learning. So Stay Tune!!! In the meantime, do check out their website and see for yourself this beautiful dream unfolding. Bali Institute for Global Renewal
I recently was introduced to the game of golf. I too like most people who don’t play golf, had three (false) assumptions about golf: 1. It’s for the boys; 2. It’s for rich people (I can’t afford it); 3. I don’t have time for it.
Like my favorite show MythBusters, here are my poverty “assumption busters”. You see underneath my three assumptions are three not very useful core beliefs: I am not good enough, I don’t belong, and I don’t have enough (enough time and money)
1. Golf is not for the boys. First of all, there are plenty of women golfers. In fact on my third round of golf, we were joined by a seasoned female player. She was awesome. Secondly, according to the latest blog from Keith Ferrazzi, Relationship Guru, “Would You Be More Successful If You Golfed?” He asserted that playing golf is a great way to network and build business relationships. From the 5 rounds of golf that I have played, I noticed I tend to be one of a few women to play. Heck, that’s a great ratio. Imaging the connections I can make with these boys, once I am more comfortable with the game!!!
2. It’s not for rich people. Yes you do have to buy the clubs. I got my whole set on Craigslist for $100, and my shoes for $25. My first two rounds of golf were in Hawaii at the Marriott Resort. It costs $120/per round. So my friends and I sat through a 90 minute time share presentation and earned 2 rounds each. That’s like making $160/hr to pay for golf. (You should have seen my face when they proposed the time share presentation option. I almost vomited. But you know, it was not that bad. We were clear on our goal. We let the time share people know that. And after 90 min. we were free to go). Furthermore, there are lots of reasonably priced golf during the week. And if you go to the golf show, you can pick up a bunch of deals there too. The point is, anybody can pay lots of money for golf. But smart Joes like us, we can find ways around it.
3. I do have time for golf! It’s amazing how life always work out so that we can have what we want. Yes, to play a round of golf, takes most of the day. But that’s quality time out in beautiful zen-ish nature, hanging with myself and with a few friends/colleagues/partners. I didn’t realize how much I missed out from not playing golf. The quality of life is so much better. As my spirit and mind are lifted from being outside and playing, I am able to manifest and create more magic and results in my work. It’s so paradoxical. My friend has a special cash register ring tone on his BlackBerry. When ever he gets an email that brings in a deal, it goes “ka-ching”. There is nothing better to get me in touch with abundance than when we are out there PLAYING and his cash register rings. It reminds both of us, that it’s our job to play, have fun, and raise our energy, so that we can attract and generate more abundance in our lives.
There is a few adoring facts about myself and golf that I am noticing:
a. If there is a ravine or water, I will take the shot like the boys do. Because it feels so good to try, even though I don’t make it 90% of the time. I live life this way. If I know the pain and difficulties of everything that I have been involved in ahead of time, I would never have done any of it. Just like golf, I swing at life, and risk failing 90% of the time. Only because it’s fun to try.
b. If I hit 5 lousy shots in a row, you will find me cursing like a boy! (I don’t throw my club, but you really should let me cool down before you talk to me)
c. I have high expectation of myself. Who knew!!! I expect myself to score at least around 100, when I have only played 5 times. So I am learning to notice when I am unreasonably ambitious in other parts of my life.
d. I love hitting with my “big Bertha” club. You know the BIG driver that is really light with the big head that you tee off with. Gosh, that feels so good in my hands. And when I smack it well, it’s like you know what.
So if you are calling me and I am not answering, I might just be at a golf course and there is no cell reception. But do leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I can.
