Reinventing Myself: Finding My Executive Coaching Voice

Reinventing Myself:  Finding My True Voice“Leaders MUST reinvent ourselves all the time.

In that reinventing period, it could feel like wandering around the desert, having lost your way, doubting yourself and your decision. And we must stick it through, so that something old inside us can die, and something new is reborn.”

Whooeee, it has been a long time since I wrote something on this blog.  I have been lost, wondering and wandering, busy reinventing myself.  Last year was a very pivotal year for me, in the sense that everything came together to invite me to give it all up and reinvent myself.

And so I did, with lots of fears and relatively little resistance.

I realized that as much as I LOVED the leadership coaching world, it was too limiting to me.  Because my definition of leadership is much more encompassing that what current executive coaches talk about, and what the corporate world wants to engage in, with me.  To me, leadership is about the whole being: mental, behavioral, SPIRITUAL, SEXUAL, emotional, social, and physical.  When coaching within an organization, it is BELIEVED that it is ONLY appropriate to talk about the mental state, address the behaviors, lightly touch on the emotional and social, maybe include a little spiritual and absolutely do not address the sexual being that we all are.

It came to a point where I could no longer be happy ignoring the most important power center, our sexual energy-power-and truth.  And to be honest, I was scared.  I was scared to really believe in myself and my own wisdom.  So to play it safe, I clamped down, I tried to be good and appropriate, and I pretended like I didn’t see deeper.

Anyway, I left the corporate coaching world and went off to create two new bodies of work: The Reinvention Circle, and Sex Lies and Consciousness.  The Reinvention Circle is a place for people like me: really talented but frustrated because I was not doing EXACTLY what I wanted to do and BE, and fearful because I was afraid if I veered off my current path, I would stop making money and will end up living on the street with my daughter.  Sex Lies and Consciousness started out as a BlogTalk Radio shows of real conversations about sex and relationships, and has become a life of its own.

Today, I am coming back to this cherished work: leadership & executive coaching and integrating all of my voices and my views of how leadership should be in the world.  This time I am not attached to how it should be or what will make me money.  Just going to do it and see how it will all turn out.

Where are you in your own path?  Is there something that is calling you to reinvent yourself and your leadership voice?  Please share…

“STAND-UP”: How Mai got her Turn On back

Holly smoke! I have been going through yet another reinventing process for the last 6 months. These processes happen about 5-10 times in a person’s life. This is my fourth one. Just because I have had some experience with this process previously does NOT mean that this time it is any easier. In fact, I do believe, the process actually gets harder and scarier each time. Because as we get older, we have more things to loose, a larger ego to manage. and more patterns to undo.

The reinventing process looked like this:
1. I was going a long on my path, grooving and doing my things. Then suddenly “WHAM!” I looked down and my path was gone. Nothing was exciting anymore. Everything that was working became really hard or dried up and went away. I got fired from projects out of the blue. One minute I had everything, the next I had nothing.
2. I panicked (of course)! I moaned, I groaned, I moped, I groped. Still nothing came. My life continued to unravel.
3. I continued to resist, I prayed, I sprayed (not in a good way). I hired myself a coach. Thank God. I stabilized. But I continued to resist. My Turned On factor was low.
4. I made bargains to God, to myself, to my coach, to my old employers. No one was buying my old story line, especially myself. I hated myself (why are you doing this to us? why now? again?) I hated my coach (not really. Thank God he was willing.)
5. Now What? I settled down. I started to listen. I couldn’t avoid the truths anymore. But what are the truths? and what are the cover-ups? How do I know? The more I listened, the more confused I got, the more pain I accumulated. I contracted, I hardened, I braced, I doubted, I frowned, I dragged…I thought of going to get a job! That thought almost killed me.
6. Finally to save myself, I went to yoga (regularly), I sat and meditated for days, I juiced, I cleansed, I prayed some more, I quantum lept, I channeled and talked to spirits, I reached out to friends, I collaborated on every crazy but FUN ideas that came to me. I begged for help my spirits and guides. I surrendered: What is my higher calling? Please tell me, I promise I will follow THIS TIME!
7. Slowly, step by step, piece by piece, the new puzzle came together. I came up with a new title that inspires me and reengages me. I have a new game plan, a bigger message. I even have a new logo and look. This could be exciting!!!!
I am not ready to reveal the whole grand plan yet. But one piece involves me learning to make people laugh on large corporate stage. That scares the S!@#%&T out of me! So I looked up the definition of comedy today.

“Stand-up comedy is a comedic art form. Usually, a comedian performs in front of a live audience, speaking directly to them. The performer is commonly known as a comic, stand-up comic, stand-up comedian or simply a stand-up.”

I Finally GOT IT! The Universe’s latest loving message to me. “STAND UP!”

…to be continued

BETTERMEANS: a New Way to Work Together

Yesterday I ranted about how “Leaders Have to Get with It” because they may be behind the times.
Today I am sharing with you a new concept that I heard from one of TEDxSF’s speakers Shereef Bishay on a different way to REORGANIZE the contract of work, how an organization can be restructured. His company is called Bettermeans. I am really intrigued with his approach and perspective.  Please check this out and share with me what you think?

As I watch this video, I wonder about:
– How long does the voting process take?
– How does the political game play out in this system?
– What people talk about at the water cooler?
– The personal skills that are required to be an accountable, flexible, and fluid member of the system.

Leaders Need to Get With The Times!

Yesterday, I spent the whole day working in bed, watching live streaming of inspirational speakers from TEDxSF “ALIVE! Maximum Living as a Human” Event. They featured great new thinkers like Simon Mainwaring (his talk: From Me First to We First Living); Eythor Bender (his talk: Merging Technology and the Human Body); Shereef Bishay (his talk: Bettermeans, Redesigning work structure and work contract); Nicole Daedone (her talk: Orgasmic Meditation, The Cure of Human Hunger)

Today I read Emotional Intelligence at the Heart of Performance article by the Hay Group, posted on May 18, 2011.

I have to say my honest reaction was “REALLY? ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS? Do we (consultants) have to still convince corporations that developing intelligence around our emotion and social skills is at the heart of all performance success?”

I don’t know who is behind? the consultants who still need to harp about this, or the corporate clients who are reluctant to implement organizational changes, OR the actual worker-bees who are still in denial that changes in their behaviors are needed?

I think we need to get with the times. Human evolution is evolving so fast, along with planet change and global power shift, we have got to get the basics down so that we can get to more fun stuff.

Here is my list of the basic stuff that leaders have to get handled (already):

1. RESPECT. Respect the human beings that you are working with, assume the best, set clear boundaries, and provide a space for them to thrive.
2. IMPACT. Know that no matter what position you are in, you have IMPACTS, all around you. Be responsible for your impact.
3. LOVE. Love yourself, love others, love your work, love your community, and love your mankind. “Dude”, this is basic! If you are not finding the love, you either need to leave, go find it, or ask for help.
4. COMMUNICATE. Make yourself available for communication, be open, be humble, be inviting, be collaborative. Nobody is perfect, and you don’t have to be either. Just communicate.
5. LEAN IN. When things get tough, when we are scared, when resources dwindle, we pull out and protect ourselves. Yet that is the time where we have to LEAN IN. Lean into each other. The answers reside inside US.


Now for the fun stuff: What we need to learn to do and be next:

1. EXPANSION. Think bigger, crazier, dreamier! Make work juicy, real, engaging. Expand your thinking, allow for newness and discomfort to settle in so that we all can expand and see the impossible.
2. FLY. Human spirits are meant to fly. You know when you are. Let yourself fly and expand.
3. BREAK. Break old molds, old rules, old systems, old thoughts, old containers. Challenge everything. If it breaks then it is meant to be broken. Build anew!
4. BE REGENERATIVE. Don’t just consume and take. GENERATE AND RE-GENERATE. Expect and demand higher output from yourself. Stay awake, don’t fall back to sleep.
5. LEAD. This to me almost belongs to the basic stuff. But I settle and put it here. EVERYONE IS A LEADER. It’s fun when everyone leads AND follows fluidly. This is how our spirit will know that we are flying.
6. CHANGE THE WORLD. Let’s do it. We can totally heal and recreate our world. Everywhere I have traveled in the last 15 years, people are dissatisfied with life as is and are actively looking for ways to make a difference. If we all decide today, that everything we take part in, our thoughts, actions, words are always directed to better our life and our world. Don’t settle for less.

Let’s go play TOGETHER!

Do You Need a Partner to Be More Successful?

Just saw this great article from Business Insider on 10 Super Successful Cofounders And Why Their Partnerships Worked

It made me think of my “Lone Ranger” leaders out there doing it on their own. Partnership is NOT easy. It’s like maintaining a marriage. But I know it is essential to your success.

So, how well do you play in a partnership?