Before You Divorce, READ THIS!

Avoid Divorce-Save Your Marriage!

This is for all you tired moms, who wake up one day and realize that you’re dead and numb in your marriage.

 You have been doing the chores, giving it your all, but you have no more passion left.  You dream of leaving. The thoughts of dating again; breaking up your family, and the substantial cost of divorce gives you the willies. So instead, you put on a happy face, drink another glass of wine or eat more cake to numb or drown out the voice inside that is screaming: “GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” “IS THIS ALL THERE IS TO LIFE?!”  “I HATE HIM!!!;  I HATE THEM!!!”, “I HATE ME!!! and, last but not least “HELP ME!!!”

 

 

The Usual complaints I hear sound like this:

  •     I don’t feel it with him anymore.
  •     We haven’t been connecting for years.
  •     I want someone to LOVE!
  •     I want to be on the same track with him and enjoy doing things together.
  •     I want my passion back!
  •     We used to be so in love!  Now we are just roommates.
  •     He doesn’t get me.

 

 

These voices usually aren’t heard unless there is a new love interest on the side, an affair (either of the mind or a cardinal sin of the flesh).  And the affair is so rich, so luscious, so Technicolor while the marriage is monotonous, boring, and dull gray.  Most people make the mistake of leaping into the affair, fantasizing that “THIS is it… THIS is the solution to my problem… If I can just have this new person, all my pain and deadness would be gone and once again I will live happily ever after.”  Sad to say that is most often NOT the case.

 

What Happened?

You’ve become a Supermom!

The answer is simple: You both lost yourself in the mundaneness of everyday life AND the noble task of parenting. You dedicated your life to being a good mom, a good wife, a good income earner, a good housemate, etc… After ten, twenty, or thirty years of this, you had an epiphany: “Hey I am NOT HAPPYYYYYYY!” You have lost yourself, your passion, your motivation. Hell, you have even lost your sex drive! (For some of us, the reverse is true. Your sex drive kicks into full gear. You have to try to suppress that or act it out in the least healthy way… by having an affair.)

 

All you have left is PRETENTION.

  • You pretend to be happy.
  • You pretend to like: your job, your house, your neighbors, your kids, your spouse, even yourself.
  • You pretend that everything is good enough, but nothing is.
  • You pretend to have a good life on FB and Instagram, BUT, inside you are dying.

 

Physically you get fatter and fatter. You are haggard. You let yourself go.  You avoid all mirrors whenever possible, and you hate having your picture taken. The truth is too ugly to bear.  You stopped talking to each other about 15 years ago. When you do talk, it’s about the children, the weather, the parent meeting, or the chores at hand. You run more carpools and bake more cookies to avoid feeling your pain.  You seethe with resentment.  Whatever he does, it’s too little, too late, and always wrong! It seems so obvious to you that at this point you have no choice but to divorce. But that’s not true!!! Trust me… divorce is not the answer.  

I know this.  Because if I knew then what I know now, I probably would not have divorced.  And I have been able to save ALL of my clients’ marriages when they asked for my help.  It doesn’t have to be a long and drawn out 2-3 years of therapy with little to no progress.  Failing marriages have become a UNIVERSAL HUMAN problem, an epidemic.  It NEVER is because you didn’t do enough.  

If you are on the brink of divorcing…

  • Yet there is at least 5% of you wondering or hoping that there is an EASY way to save this;
  • Or you want to avoid the pain and confusion to your children;
  • And you want to avoid feeling misplaced shame and disappointment to your family;
  • Finally you want to avoid the excruciating cost of breaking up your marriage,  

I sincerely invite you to my Hot Life Hot Love 2-day Live Event. You owe it to yourself and your kids. You don’t have time to waste. Your future is at stake. Give me one weekend to help you before you sign the divorce papers.

 

Start your journey back:  Hot Life Hot Love 2-day Live Event 

See you there!  Register now before you get stuck in your hole and do something that will wreck your life.

 

With Love,

My Predictions for 2015. Are You In It?

My Predictions for 2015. Are You In It? 

Happy New Year! I am so excited to bring you this newsletter. I hope it will inspire your heart and tickle your funny bone. I want it to delight and entertain you! In this newsletter, we are celebrating the love and miracles my clients made this past year to inspire and give you a glimpse of what is possible. My “2015 Predictions” video is super funny as I introduce a new part of me – MaiDame Vuvuvuvuski. See below.

2014 Celebrations

In my closing sessions with my VIP clients, I had the pleasure of witnessing the love and miracles that they brought into their lives. Click the picture to read some of the ones that they shared or click here

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“I want to thank you for your work and the impact it has had on my life and my kids. Before I worked with you, I was dating all the wrong guys, stressing over my business and how to make ends meet, and frustrated all the time. After six months, I saw a huge change in myself. I am so much happier and at peace. I am with a very nice man who loves and adores me. My business is making twice the income and it continues to grow. I am so happy I can’t stop grinning. Your work is life changing. Thank you for showing me the way.” D. H. 

 2015 Predictions From MaiDamme Vuvuvuski…

I hope you enjoyed this video! I truly want the world for you and want to be there every step of the way. I know deep in my soul that my support will help make amazing things happen in your life. Below are some fun ways you can play with me in 2015 as my New Years gifts to you:

  • Pre-register for my Big Event: March 7th & 8th Hot Live Hot Love It will knock your socks off!

Want to see or hear me live before the big event? Then come to:

  • FemTalks, Women Wanting to Be Successful in Business, in Berkeley Feb 9
  • Understanding Men webinar on Feb. 12th, 6:00pm PT  (more info coming soon)

With love, Mai (& Maia, my daughter and videographer and film editor for MaiDamme Vuvuvuski) Love Life - Mai and Maia

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Should I Stay Or Should I Go:

Wisdom From the Mai Vu Coach Facebook Community

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If you are pondering the question “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”

(whether it’s personal or business), what would be ONE tip or something

you would need to hear, that will help you with your situation?

My Facebook Community Chimes In With Their Thoughts. To Hear What I Have To Say, Register For The Ignited Woman Summit.

Leslie Reitzes That you really do know the answer. You just have to go somewhere quiet and tune out the voices of disapproval/judgment and get clear on what YOU really want. July 20 at 7:46pm · Like · 2

Lisa Zahn It’s helpful for me to hear there might not be a wrong or right answer, that any decisions made don’t have to be perfect.
July 20 at 8:01pm · Like · 2

Antje Boyd I always ask myself which answer is coming from a place of fear and which answer comes from a place of love
July 20 at 8:06pm · Like · 5

Kimberly Campbell Sherry What is the vibration of each….?
July 20 at 10:04pm · Like · 1

Janet M. Thuesen Where would your next foot land?
July 20 at 10:42pm · Like · 1

Justice Schanfarber Stay with your discomfort.
Yesterday at 12:03am · Like · 2

Atalwin Zoekt Een Fijn Huis What would you choose if you would not be hindered by fear?
Yesterday at 12:12am · Like · 2

Shameem Yusuf Spend about 2 days…exploring what it is that drives you and where your block is. Identify your fear/ struggle. Write it on top of the paper. What I wrote was some thing like this..” I am going to imagine my kids and food at home is sorted (huge challenge areas for me) and that lasheen still lives and that I am not in fear…” somehow I found myself in a better situation to make a decision, not bogged down by these irrelevant factors. Also write down..that you trust your self.     Yesterday at 12:36am · Like · 2

Maria Appelqvist What does it give you to stay? What does it give you to go? Feel the energy in each of these questions. Where is it light and easy?     Yesterday at 5:55am · Like · 1

Ken Kinghorn Love & agree with all the posts so far. I’d add that stay/go is just one (very valid) level of what’s happening in the situation. Dig deeper to find the unity within the choice.. it’s always there. What’s the *one underlying thing* I’m looking for by either staying or going? Find *what’s beyond* the black/white, yes/no, stay/go way of perceiving this even if ultimately you make that choice. Maybe it’s not so black & white. Or maybe there’s a yes/no *within* the big yes/no that’s more precise as to what needs to change. Make the choice standing solidly in what you *want* rather than what you *don’t want*.  Yesterday at 10:35am · Like · 3

Kimberly Campbell Sherry Play out each scenario in your head and feel each fully…your body will give you an instant answer. Anxiety and nausea are answers…

Klara Fischerova What am I to loose if I stay and what do I loose if I leave.          15 hours ago · Like · 1

Kathy Loh It’s OK to have your preference     13 hours ago · Like · 1

Get the Love, Adoration & Success You Deserve

 

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      Connect w/ Mai Live!  Register for Her August 2nd & 3rd Event

 

 

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 Can’t Wait Till August?  Touch Base w/ Mai About This Topic During a Complimentary Discovery Session This Week!

 

 

 

Hot Love Bound

Meet JoEllen.  She came to me about 4 weeks ago.

She is 57 years old and has been in technology for 40 years.  She has two children who are almost adults and got divorced after being married to an alcoholic for 20 years. She says, “I buried myself for the last 10 years, barely thinking I might want a companion. I’ve been divorced for over 5 years now and  I am not sure that I can make a good decision regarding a man.  I have a lot of pain still.”

When I saw JoEllen on Google Hangouts for the first time I was blown away, she is beautiful!  Before this I imagined her as old, dumpy and raggedy from her tone of voice and the way she talked about herself. You see, the biggest thing that hangs over JoEllen’s mind and drains her of her vitality is the GUILT over leaving her marriage.  Actually, it’s a GUILT-ping pong battle in her head between staying too long and not having protecting her children better over leaving him behind and breaking the marriage.  It has been 5 years and she still wonders if there was one more thing she could or should have done.

During our recent 1-on-1 coaching session, JoEllen was describing her marriage and it hit me like a Mac truck,  she did not have a marriage. A marriage implies two people care for each other, doing their best to give into the relationship, to nurture, to love and to hold each other.  What she had was a prison sentence and through a lot of tenacity, she escaped!

That distinction was fascinating to both her and I.  She was unconsciously calling what she had “a marriage” instead of seeing it for what it was: a prison term. She was held captive, abused, and neglected for twenty years.  Interesting how this change in perspective busted up the guilt and shame that she was carrying in her head.  Her old reference to her “marriage” really confused her when looking forward to having a new relationship with a man.  Who would want another marriage or relationship if that is what you end up with, an indefinite prison term?!

JoEllen’s latest homework in the Loving Your 3P’s VIP program is to create a vision board of the kind of man and quality of relationship she wants in her life.  She recently said to me, “I remember being 12 years old, having all the posters of teenage idols on my wall, dreaming of my future when my mother made me take them all down saying, ‘Stop dreaming about such things’. Now you, Mai are making me put them back up!”  All I can say back to JoEllen is, “Honey, I am helping you get on your way to HOT LOVE!”

JoEllen’s story is one of many of my client’s journeys toward cultivating hot love in their lives.  HOT LOVE starts with reclaiming our beauty and vitality, letting go of our guilt and should of’s, and then redefining what kind of man and relationship they we want in their lives.

Do you know anyone who is confused about their relationship, thinking they have or had a marriage but really they don’t or didn’t? If so, send them to me!  We are HOT LOVE bound in 2014.  We will be doing everything it takes to make love HOT.  Let me help them make some miracles in their life or help them overcome resistance to change and be well on their way to having the HOT LOVE that they secretly hunger for.

 

Will I Find the Right Man this time?

find the right man after divorce

Pam is dating again.

I don’t want to meet and jump back into relationship with another wrong guy (again).  My last relationship, I dated this guy for 3 years.  If I had dated other people at the same time, I would not have been in that relationship!

…and I don’t have enough time to go out and meet people.  Then, I’m not sure where to look to meet them?

Continue reading “Will I Find the Right Man this time?”