Redefining Progress

Redefining Progress

If you are like me, you often times might have an internal dialogue that goes like this when you are working on something:

Is this working?”

Am I doing this right?”

Am I making progress?”

When these questions take root in my brain what follows is a few days of doubt and even frustration that I am not progressing fast enough.

Here, inside the Mai Vu Coach community, I help my clients build a sustainable Hot Life and Hot Love and we are always looking at our progress.  In my signature work, I teach my clients to distinguish and integrate the three archetypes: The Peasant, Princess, and Priestess inside them, so that they can have the love, support, success and joy that they want.

Last week a few of us had a beautiful conversation about PROGRESS, and how each of those 3 P’s thinks about it, during one our program calls. It was so powerful that I want to share it here as a resource for you all.

What we learned is that how we define progress will determine our reactions, understanding, and level of satisfaction in ourselves and our effort.  It can easily defeat us or encourage and inspire us forward. To see this even deeper, read how each of your 3 archetypes think about progress. Do a mental test on which of the three you might be listening to (remember, no archetype is better than the other, we have all three, and we want to have a healthy balance of each).

Peasant on Progress: (from our limited thinking, hard working, tangible and logical self)

  • She is moving toward a positive goal
  • She believes in sweat on the brow and getting it all done, forging ahead at light speed
  • She believes that progress is a good thing and it is also a bad thing
  • She needs tangible proof to move forward
  • She has a judgement of what progress should be and look like
  • She is very critical because of her expectations and judgements
  • She believes that something is never good enough meaning she will poo-poo all over her progress
  • She thinks she can do it all by herself . She might say something like, “I don’t need anybody because I can do it better faster, cleaner, & quicker”
  • She asks herself,  “How much can I accomplish?” and then says yes to all of it

Princess Progress: (from our all loving, generous, trusting, gracious and compassionate self)

  • Progress is light and flowy much like dancing and singing
  • She thinks of it as a flow, you might not get things done on your practicality list, but what you have done, feels really pleasing
  • She knows that progress is individual and group based, and it takes a community to move forward.
  • She asks for help and won’t do it alone.
  • She will do things to be recognized and to recognize the people that helped her
  • LOVE is her currency

Priestess Progress:  (from our wise, deep knowing of wisdom from the past and clarity and foresight for the future self)

  • She assumes progress and knows that it is going to happen.  She is very grounded.
  • She has a deep knowing and nothing rattles her.  Meaning she has no judgement and can stand in her KNOWING, “it’s in my DNA”.
  • Progress doesn’t have to be HUGE, an inch can be an incredible progress for someone.
  • Progress is different for the Priestess: She thinks progress is when she breaks everything down and there is FREEDOM and real POWER for me.  She doesn’t really care about success and safety like the way the Peasant thinks.

The point of seeing it from all three archetypes is to have a balance, and wise look of our progress, instead of being driven by our fearful limited peasant self which is typically what we are trained to listen to from an early age.

If you’d like to balance out your 3P’s, schedule a complimentary Hot Life Hot Love Discovery Session with me by filling out this short 3P’s questionnaire.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Should I Stay Or Should I Go:

Wisdom From the Mai Vu Coach Facebook Community

 favicon copy

If you are pondering the question “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”

(whether it’s personal or business), what would be ONE tip or something

you would need to hear, that will help you with your situation?

My Facebook Community Chimes In With Their Thoughts. To Hear What I Have To Say, Register For The Ignited Woman Summit.

Leslie Reitzes That you really do know the answer. You just have to go somewhere quiet and tune out the voices of disapproval/judgment and get clear on what YOU really want. July 20 at 7:46pm · Like · 2

Lisa Zahn It’s helpful for me to hear there might not be a wrong or right answer, that any decisions made don’t have to be perfect.
July 20 at 8:01pm · Like · 2

Antje Boyd I always ask myself which answer is coming from a place of fear and which answer comes from a place of love
July 20 at 8:06pm · Like · 5

Kimberly Campbell Sherry What is the vibration of each….?
July 20 at 10:04pm · Like · 1

Janet M. Thuesen Where would your next foot land?
July 20 at 10:42pm · Like · 1

Justice Schanfarber Stay with your discomfort.
Yesterday at 12:03am · Like · 2

Atalwin Zoekt Een Fijn Huis What would you choose if you would not be hindered by fear?
Yesterday at 12:12am · Like · 2

Shameem Yusuf Spend about 2 days…exploring what it is that drives you and where your block is. Identify your fear/ struggle. Write it on top of the paper. What I wrote was some thing like this..” I am going to imagine my kids and food at home is sorted (huge challenge areas for me) and that lasheen still lives and that I am not in fear…” somehow I found myself in a better situation to make a decision, not bogged down by these irrelevant factors. Also write down..that you trust your self.     Yesterday at 12:36am · Like · 2

Maria Appelqvist What does it give you to stay? What does it give you to go? Feel the energy in each of these questions. Where is it light and easy?     Yesterday at 5:55am · Like · 1

Ken Kinghorn Love & agree with all the posts so far. I’d add that stay/go is just one (very valid) level of what’s happening in the situation. Dig deeper to find the unity within the choice.. it’s always there. What’s the *one underlying thing* I’m looking for by either staying or going? Find *what’s beyond* the black/white, yes/no, stay/go way of perceiving this even if ultimately you make that choice. Maybe it’s not so black & white. Or maybe there’s a yes/no *within* the big yes/no that’s more precise as to what needs to change. Make the choice standing solidly in what you *want* rather than what you *don’t want*.  Yesterday at 10:35am · Like · 3

Kimberly Campbell Sherry Play out each scenario in your head and feel each fully…your body will give you an instant answer. Anxiety and nausea are answers…

Klara Fischerova What am I to loose if I stay and what do I loose if I leave.          15 hours ago · Like · 1

Kathy Loh It’s OK to have your preference     13 hours ago · Like · 1

Get the Love, Adoration & Success You Deserve

 

image:Hot-Life-Hot-Love-logo 275

      Connect w/ Mai Live!  Register for Her August 2nd & 3rd Event

 

 

MV-004-transparent-for-web-450x502

 Can’t Wait Till August?  Touch Base w/ Mai About This Topic During a Complimentary Discovery Session This Week!

 

 

 

Paging Mr. Right

Let Love In

Why is it so hard to find a man who is caring, empathetic and intelligent, a great man, with no drama? I know you are dying to ask the question because most of my clients ask the same thing within a week of working with me.

Underneath that question are some wants and fears that all of us divorced women have. For example,

-You want hot romance and deep connection with your current partner or with a new man but you feel like you are all alone carrying the load for everyone around you.

-You find yourself not knowing how start dating again? Or fear how to let a new man into your life?

-To be honest, you don’t really think you need a man. You want one, but you don’t need one.

-And it seems like it would cost you too much – your freedom to come and go as you wish, all the time spent pleasing him and his incessant demands for sex, and let’s not forget calming his insecurities.

Geez that’s enough to give a woman heartburn.

Here are my top 3 reasons why you don’t have a man who is empathetic, caring, intelligent, and, most important doesn’t create drama.

1. “There aren’t any out there!” You might have a belief that there aren’t any good men out there. Or that they are all taken. Come clean. Do you find yourself making that joke sometimes with your girlfriends? You know, the eye rolling along with the big sigh, and the sinking thought. 9 out of 10 women that I have surveyed at some level have this belief or some version of this belief.

The solution to this one is very simple (complex but simple)… you must banish that thought. Let it go. It’s not the truth. You don’t need to prove that you are right on this one. In fact I want you to prove that you are wrong, dead wrong about this. Believe that there are tons of great, caring, empathetic, and intelligent men out there for YOU. Yes, you. Are you willing to believe?

2. The Laws of Attraction don’t work. You have been manifesting for years now, and you are still single, working hard, and carrying the load by yourself.

Want to know why? This one is a tough one to swallow. You are really hard to love. You make it really hard to come closer to you. You are either too busy with work or you can’t leave your children long enough to fully enjoy a good date. Or you are too stressed out to date. Or you have other obligations that are more important than having a good man in your life.

Do I sound like I am making you wrong here? I am not. I totally understand this dynamic. I am a very busy business woman, a devoted mom, and a great friend. It’s hard for me to surrender and let love in. The only difference between you and me is that I recognize it when I am being hard to love. I will name it and I will ask for help. “Help me, i am being very hard and driven right now. I am scared and I am stressed. I can’t surrender and let you love and care for me.” when is the last time you said that to a man (any man really, but one who is interested in you)?

3. You don’t know what you want. To be even more specific, you are afraid to want everything that you want. So you state the surface want instead of everything underneath. You might even say the things you don’t want (as if that is the same as stating the things that you do want.)

Here is an example one of my clients said to me when I first met her:
Jane, when it comes to relationship what do you really, really want?”
I want an empathetic man, who will listen and support me. Who will love my kids and get along well with them. I don’t want someone who will take over our family, assert his rules, and scare my children like the last one did. And I don’t want someone who will just sit around like a puppy waiting on me either, that’s stifling.” “See a good man is so hard to find. I don’t think they are out there.

Can you see how she derailed from her wants and is now in the “I don’t want” state? She is clearer on what she doesn’t want than what she wants. And that is a dangerous zone.

So let’s do something about this. You know I have some things to offer you. You can find them back on my July newsletter.

Hot Love Bound

Meet JoEllen.  She came to me about 4 weeks ago.

She is 57 years old and has been in technology for 40 years.  She has two children who are almost adults and got divorced after being married to an alcoholic for 20 years. She says, “I buried myself for the last 10 years, barely thinking I might want a companion. I’ve been divorced for over 5 years now and  I am not sure that I can make a good decision regarding a man.  I have a lot of pain still.”

When I saw JoEllen on Google Hangouts for the first time I was blown away, she is beautiful!  Before this I imagined her as old, dumpy and raggedy from her tone of voice and the way she talked about herself. You see, the biggest thing that hangs over JoEllen’s mind and drains her of her vitality is the GUILT over leaving her marriage.  Actually, it’s a GUILT-ping pong battle in her head between staying too long and not having protecting her children better over leaving him behind and breaking the marriage.  It has been 5 years and she still wonders if there was one more thing she could or should have done.

During our recent 1-on-1 coaching session, JoEllen was describing her marriage and it hit me like a Mac truck,  she did not have a marriage. A marriage implies two people care for each other, doing their best to give into the relationship, to nurture, to love and to hold each other.  What she had was a prison sentence and through a lot of tenacity, she escaped!

That distinction was fascinating to both her and I.  She was unconsciously calling what she had “a marriage” instead of seeing it for what it was: a prison term. She was held captive, abused, and neglected for twenty years.  Interesting how this change in perspective busted up the guilt and shame that she was carrying in her head.  Her old reference to her “marriage” really confused her when looking forward to having a new relationship with a man.  Who would want another marriage or relationship if that is what you end up with, an indefinite prison term?!

JoEllen’s latest homework in the Loving Your 3P’s VIP program is to create a vision board of the kind of man and quality of relationship she wants in her life.  She recently said to me, “I remember being 12 years old, having all the posters of teenage idols on my wall, dreaming of my future when my mother made me take them all down saying, ‘Stop dreaming about such things’. Now you, Mai are making me put them back up!”  All I can say back to JoEllen is, “Honey, I am helping you get on your way to HOT LOVE!”

JoEllen’s story is one of many of my client’s journeys toward cultivating hot love in their lives.  HOT LOVE starts with reclaiming our beauty and vitality, letting go of our guilt and should of’s, and then redefining what kind of man and relationship they we want in their lives.

Do you know anyone who is confused about their relationship, thinking they have or had a marriage but really they don’t or didn’t? If so, send them to me!  We are HOT LOVE bound in 2014.  We will be doing everything it takes to make love HOT.  Let me help them make some miracles in their life or help them overcome resistance to change and be well on their way to having the HOT LOVE that they secretly hunger for.

 

Transforming Families

transforming families

Piece by piece everything falls into place as I could never imagine! First, Mai, you taught me how to be a woman, and be proud and happy about it.

Then you made an opening for me to bring my man to this concept which gave us

more than I dared to hope for.

Then you brought me into a concept that will teach me to dare to meet all my feelings and be whole. I can’t wait to see the results of this. I feel so authentic and ready to meet life eyes wide open. Now your grace has touched Henrik too. He wants to transform instead of just again and again saying that he needs to work on this or that before he can really start being in business

Mai knows how to transform you and your family.

DISCOVER MORE