Are you a PEASANT in your life?
Okay you may see this question and think: “What are you talking about??? I am not a peasant! I am a strong, independent woman who has accomplished a lot. How dare you even ask that?” Being independent and strong has helped us accomplish a lot, but it also has made us tired, resentful, depleted, and possibly angry. We don’t realize that we have been working like a peasant in our life instead of from other possibilities of ourselves. Sometime being independent and accomplished often means we are overworked, exhausted and feeling unsupported. In essence your independence has come at the price of you being a slave or a peasant in your life.
Before you dive in – you must know a little bit about the peasant. Most people react negatively to be associated with the concept of being a peasant. They think being a peasant is bad and so they are insulted by that label. Au contraire, I think highly of our peasant self. We need her to accomplish things in this world. This part of our-self is very innocent, earnest, responsible, caring, and dedicated. However when we are all peasant and are out of touch with our princess and priestess self, the peasant gets really tired, lonely, and depleted. Sometimes she is even resentful and feeling really stuck in her circumstance, and she does not know how to break out of it.
The spirit of this quiz is to help you begin to identify your peasant way of being, doing, and thinking. It’s not a judgment or label that we are looking for. We are looking for an understanding and the beginning of incorporating some help and guidance from your princess and priestess self, to lighten the load for your peasant.
Take the quiz with love and appreciation for how your peasant works. Invite yourself to really see how you are wired, so that you can reclaim and find new ways if you choose to. There is no should or shame here, only satisfaction and more satisfaction.
Instructions on taking the quiz: Read each scenario, to the best of your ability, see yourself in the story, and select answer or answers that would most likely be how you would react or behave.
The answer key is at the end of the quiz.
a. “No thanks. That’s all right. I will walk home. It’s not that far away. I will be fine.” (Deep down inside you are thinking, “I really don’t want to bother him. He will be sleeping and it will be too inconvenient for him to come out so late at night. And besides he has a cold.”b. “Oh I don’t know. You decide. You do what’s best for you. If I’ll see you, I’ll see you.” (but deep down inside, you really hope that he will come and pick you up.)
c. “Ya sure! Fine. Good. See you then. I’ll take you out to coffee if you pick me up.” (You feel a little uncomfortable with his generosity. So you want to do something nice back to him)
d. “You will do that for me? That is super cool. I would really love that. Thank you. See you at 9:30pm. I can’t wait.” (You are gleefully accepting of his offer, and you showed it.)
a. “Yea sure. Come up” (You scramble to make it happen to receive them, knowing that you will exhaust yourself.)b. “Well this is not the best time for a visit. But you can come if you would like. I have a lot to do. I have a lot of things to clean for my project” (You trust that the right thing will happen. And you hope that maybe they can be of some use to you.)
c. “Yes you are welcome to come up. Here are some conditions that you must know. I am under a deadline, so I will need some help. Will you both give me a day to help me clean the materials. And will you be ok with entertaining yourself most of the time while I am working?”
d. “No. I am overwhelmed right now. This is not a good time for me. Let’s find a better time for you to come up.”
a. “OMG, I hope this is it. I like him so much. We have so much in common. This is going to be so great. I hope he is THE ONE.”b. “OMG, I don’t want him to come. What if it won’t be great? What if he thinks I am fat, ugly, etc… in real life.”
c. “This will be interesting. I am curious how it will unfold. He can stay here. I will make a nice place for him to sleep.”
d. “This will be delightful. I would like for him to arrange for a lovely guest house nearby. So we can see each other easily, but not too easily!”
a. You reach over and grab an orange and start to peel for yourself.b. He offered you a knife and you said “no thanks, I got it.”
c. You ask him to peel some for you too.
d. You don’t have to ask. He reaches over and offers to feed you some orange. (He got the vibes that you wanted some)
A. The peasant is taking care of the man and not herself. In a way she is setting this relationship up, so that over time he will do less and less for her, and she will take on more and more responsibility and taking care of him and his needs.B. The peasant is being very vague, which will confuse the man, and potentially set him up to fail in her eyes.
C. The peasant is having a hard time receiving. So she has to even the score. Because deep inside she doesn’t think she is worth the trouble. But she covers it up with the rationale that she is being fair and generous back.
D. This is the territory of a healthy Princess. She is easily pleased, joyful, and is not afraid to let herself be vulnerable to receive and to show her joy. This way of being makes the man feel secretly, if not obviously, joyful and encourages him to do more to make his princess happy. Everybody feels good here.
A. That one is obvious. The peasant always says YES, to the detriment of herself. Yes she is kind, loving, and generous. But she is not kind, loving, and generous to herself. I see a big crash in resentment/anger/frustration waiting for her.B. Again, this is a peasant move because she is compromising herself and being very vague of what she wants. This is a set up for misunderstanding, disappointment, and irritation when the guests arrive.
C. This is the beginning of a princess move because she is being clear with her desires, request and boundary.
D. This is a priestess move. She is not afraid to run the world according to her timeline, and she can be direct, with zero guilt or should.
A. Eek, that peasant innocent hope and dream. She feels like a princess, because The ONE is coming to rescue her. But she is about to fall off the horse because fantasy and illusion don’t last. Even if he comes and they have a great time, real relationship doesn’t quite swing this way.B. Total peasant thinking… She is thinking she is less than before she even meets him in person. Can you just imagine the compensation that she would be doing when he gets there?
C. This answer is probably the healthiest reaction from the peasant. She is still putting out and taking the risk to receive him in her home. What if he doesn’t please her? How will she get out gracefully? It’s best to be a little choosy and have more support for herself.
D. This is a nice princess move. Think princess, eh? A real princess would never invite a suitor into her chamber right away. He has to set up camp somewhere nearby and be ready for her beckon call. And yes, he had to pay for his own airfare to get to her. She is worth it.
A & B are both ways that shows you work hard, do everything, and possibly make it hard for your husband to help you. Bad peasant moves actually. You are training him to ignore you.C. This is totally fine between husband and wife. But comparing it to answer D. You can see that this is still in the peasant arena. What we have here are two lovers who have grown to be good roommates with each other.
D. My whole body feels good reading answer D. It feels so right and good doesn’t it? Don’t we all want to be in relationships like this one? Yes, this is how we should be cared for. The reverse is true too. He gets the same treatment.
Time for an honesty check….
If you answered ‘peasant’ in any of these scenarios, you are probably experiencing one or more of the following:
- You can’t attract a man that you want or you are working way too hard to keep a man
- If you have a man, he is substandard: not treating you well, not nurturing or caring for you like the princess that you deserve to be.
- You have given up and are quietly lonely, confused, with low self esteem when it comes to men.
I would like to invite you to rewrite your peasant story,
and activate your princess and priestess.
It is time to stop the struggle and find out how to have the relationship that you want!
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