“Are You Interested in a Soft-Boiled Egg?”

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It’s 12:19pm, and my sweetheart asked from the kitchen, “Are you interested in a soft-boiled egg [for breakfast]?”

I am cranking away on my laptop with a million thoughts going on. I am frozen at the question. It feels like too much to have to answer that. I have to decide… “Do I want to eat?” “Do I want to eat a soft-boiled egg?” then becomes “Do I want to make a healthy smoothie instead?” “Do I want to quit writing to feed myself?”

Mai & Keith at Machu Picchu-2015
Mai & Keith at Machu Picchu-2015

I read an article recently called  “Why Steve Jobs only wears jeans and a black T-shirt”. They talked about Decision-Making Fatigue. Yup, it is a real term, a real condition. When we have to make so many decisions in a day, we can experience fatigue — where it actually stops us from making good decisions. It makes me think of divorced moms who are dating again while building a business and raising children. WE (I am in this demographic) are bombarded with decisions to make in a day, and the more successful we are, the more complex decisions we have to make.

I see a very common mistake that my clients make due to this decision-making fatigue condition. They ALWAYS put love last, behind building their business and taking care of their children. The mindset is automatic: “I don’t have time for that” or “I don’t need that right now.”

This leaves them depleted and angry. They don’t know why they are angry. Sometimes they don’t even know that they are pissed off. They just get frustrated at random things. It’s because they are not making good decisions. They are making decisions to cope with life instead of making decisions to build a hot life, to have life be yummy and fun. They are just coping. In their coping mechanism, they unknowingly push love and support away.

Back to my kitchen:

After a full minute of “Duh… I don’t know,” I said to him, “Yes please. And I don’t like it runny.”

The next thing I know, I was able to finish this article while two soft boiled eggs, half a grapefruit, and a piece of toast were served up to me.

YAY!!! I am fed and off to the next thing on my long list of to-do’s. My sweetheart felt like my hero.

Everybody wins.

My wish for you in 2016 is that you make yummy decisions that involve letting love in, that
you don’t have to wear the same black t-shirt and jeans everyday in order to make good
decisions, and that you have a hot man in the kitchen making you breakfast whether you recognize you need it or not. International Speaker and Master Coach, Mai Vu works with
women entrepreneurs who are divorced & dating again. She helps you build a hot business while attracting your hot love, so you can live your hot life. Mai has a successful six-figure coaching business, serving over 1000 women worldwide for the past 20 years. Look for Mai’s upcoming book due to be released in February on Amazon: To Be Loved, Adored, and Cherished – The Divorced Mom’s Guide to Dating. You can find Mai at

www.MaiVuCoach.com

 

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Hot Love Bound

Meet JoEllen.  She came to me about 4 weeks ago.

She is 57 years old and has been in technology for 40 years.  She has two children who are almost adults and got divorced after being married to an alcoholic for 20 years. She says, “I buried myself for the last 10 years, barely thinking I might want a companion. I’ve been divorced for over 5 years now and  I am not sure that I can make a good decision regarding a man.  I have a lot of pain still.”

When I saw JoEllen on Google Hangouts for the first time I was blown away, she is beautiful!  Before this I imagined her as old, dumpy and raggedy from her tone of voice and the way she talked about herself. You see, the biggest thing that hangs over JoEllen’s mind and drains her of her vitality is the GUILT over leaving her marriage.  Actually, it’s a GUILT-ping pong battle in her head between staying too long and not having protecting her children better over leaving him behind and breaking the marriage.  It has been 5 years and she still wonders if there was one more thing she could or should have done.

During our recent 1-on-1 coaching session, JoEllen was describing her marriage and it hit me like a Mac truck,  she did not have a marriage. A marriage implies two people care for each other, doing their best to give into the relationship, to nurture, to love and to hold each other.  What she had was a prison sentence and through a lot of tenacity, she escaped!

That distinction was fascinating to both her and I.  She was unconsciously calling what she had “a marriage” instead of seeing it for what it was: a prison term. She was held captive, abused, and neglected for twenty years.  Interesting how this change in perspective busted up the guilt and shame that she was carrying in her head.  Her old reference to her “marriage” really confused her when looking forward to having a new relationship with a man.  Who would want another marriage or relationship if that is what you end up with, an indefinite prison term?!

JoEllen’s latest homework in the Loving Your 3P’s VIP program is to create a vision board of the kind of man and quality of relationship she wants in her life.  She recently said to me, “I remember being 12 years old, having all the posters of teenage idols on my wall, dreaming of my future when my mother made me take them all down saying, ‘Stop dreaming about such things’. Now you, Mai are making me put them back up!”  All I can say back to JoEllen is, “Honey, I am helping you get on your way to HOT LOVE!”

JoEllen’s story is one of many of my client’s journeys toward cultivating hot love in their lives.  HOT LOVE starts with reclaiming our beauty and vitality, letting go of our guilt and should of’s, and then redefining what kind of man and relationship they we want in their lives.

Do you know anyone who is confused about their relationship, thinking they have or had a marriage but really they don’t or didn’t? If so, send them to me!  We are HOT LOVE bound in 2014.  We will be doing everything it takes to make love HOT.  Let me help them make some miracles in their life or help them overcome resistance to change and be well on their way to having the HOT LOVE that they secretly hunger for.

 

Hot Love Debuts In Sweden

Hot Life Event-button

I’ve just returned from Sweden where I successfully introduced a new group of women to my Loving Your 3P’s program and, even more exciting, debuted my newest couples program, Hot Love: How to Increase the Heat in Your Relationship. You can see pictures of this lovely country and of my two events in the video below.

Creating an evening to show my growing Sweden community how to reignite and bring back the confidence, deep intimacy, spice, fun and heat of their current love relationship has been my constant dream and craving for the last five years.

I had 5 couples in the room who ranged from young newlyweds, to married with young kids, to divorced moms who are in a new budding relationship, to a couple who are intimately dating with no expectation on each other. It was super fun to see how Hot Love increased the heat, intimacy and connection for all of them. At the end of the night, the women were princesses and priestesses and the men were kings and heroes. YUM!

I am now recuperating and dreaming up how and when to bring this second program to California, New York, Canada, and anywhere else that the Universe wants me to bring this to. Are you interested? Wonderful! By clicking here you’ll be amongst the first to hear about the next phase of my Hot Love program, until then I’ll keep you nice and hot with some juicy tips to start cultivating Hot Love in your own life.

Wake Up Call

It is my habit to wake up naturally to the sun, at 6:29am every morning.  A cognitive thought comes into my mind like “it’s time to wake up.”  Then as I lay there a few more minutes to gather myself back from dream land, I think of what is coming up for my day, today and for the rest of the week.  This process always wake me up fully, since my to do list and my desire list are always so much fun to accomplish.

But this morning was different.  As I let my mind wander to my to do list, I felt a jolt of panic:  “Holy Shit, I have got a lot to do this week!”  Followed by a flood of doubt and fear: “OMG, can I handle all of this?  What if it is too much?  What if I don’t have what it takes to do all of this?”  My body began constricting, bracing for this day and this week to come.  I no longer felt joy and excitement.  But I started to feel fear, worry, and dread.  Me, at the top of my game right now, is dragged down by my negative ego into the land of fear and dread instead of just enjoying my beautiful work and success that I have spent the last 20 years building.
 
Luckily, I operate consistently with the Universe.  She and I communicate constantly and instantaneously.  Just as the sense of fear and dread flooded in to fill up my body, my phone beeped and the Osho App presented today’s thought for me to meditate on.
 
The  card was called:  Flowering  And the message? You will love this….

“Zen wants you living in abundance, living in totality, living intensely– not at the minimum as traditional culture wants you, but at the maximum, overflowing.  Your life should reach to others.  Your blissfulness, your benediction, your ecstasy should not be contained within you like a seed.  It should open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry — not only to the friends but to the strangers too.  

This is real compassion, this is real love: sharing your enlightenment, sharing your dance of the beyond.”  Osho

Osha

WOW!  That card was right on for me.  That was my dread.  It was the voice of responsibility.  My responsible self wanted to make sure I could handle it all, that I didn’t take on too much, that overflowing is bad, and I should be cautious and pull back.

While my inspirational and powerful beyond measure me is busy saying yes to life, my responsible side tries to help, to keep me intact, to keep me responsible.  Yet what she really is doing is stopping the flow.  She is not trusting, not flowering.  She is minimizing, bracing, and limiting love and flow.
 
Do you relate?  Do you feel like this, where you have lots of yummy things happening yet suddenly your doubt and fear creep in? It tells you how you should handle all of these things, it tightens your body up and starts to brace against life and all of your creation.  It doesn’t trust that all will be well and stupendous.  Instead, it puts thoughts of disastrous endings and outcomes into your mind.
 
I offer up this share, to say to you “I get it Sista!” I do the same thing.  And guess what? This fearful, doubtful, responsible voice, as compelling and right as it sounds, is actually not trustworthy. Unleash, let go, surrender into your day.  Ride it like you are a kid on a boogie board catching a great wave. Or as Osho said in my card, “Let yourself flower, overflow with love.  Live in intensity, live in totality, live in abundance.”  ~ Namaste Mai

 

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Tips to Break Out of the Peasant Pattern

Peasant trying to look powerful

Peasant Pattern Alert.

This picture came to me on FB today.  I do think this is fun and can relate to previous moments in my life where I felt like this.  When I used to feel so down and out, kicked to the curb, tolerated so many unwanted scenarios, and were ignored or mistreated by men and circumstances that I finally pulled myself together, got tough, said “NO”, and stood up to protect myself.

Now that I know about my peasant, princess, and priestess self, this picture definitely depicts what it looks like when a peasant tries to do priestess. When a peasant is so fed up, she tries to access power.  She overly masculinizes herself, gets really tough, thinking she will kick ass. Yet I can sense her power is put on (with the leather and accessories).  It’s not real.  The power conveyed comes on as a reaction to the circumstance, and a teen-ager rebelling.  “So don’t tell me to….”  Her power is not really coming from a deep source, the true priestess source. It comes from the rebellious teenager source.

The danger here is…

I can project forward and see the outcome of this way of being…. she will definitely draw some boundaries, kick some asses, feel temporarily powerful.  But she will end up alone, resentful, righteous, bitter, and hard.  And that will just reinforce the peasant’s bad behaviors and patterns of thinking and relating.

My picture would say “This situation is no longer acceptable.  I am HERE to right it back up.”

 

If you are stuck in peasant mode: suffering, angry, not liking what you are having, settling for less, confused,rattled, walking on eggshells, fearful of the present and future, (the list goes on….) I can help! 

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